Addiction brought me to my knees

At the age of 24, while studying law, the game was up. My addiction brought me to my knees. I had to try a different way of living. I went to NA meetings and they spoke about the vague concept of a “Higher Power”. I studied spiritual subjects intently for the next decade (while qualifying as a lawyer and then leaving the law) - in fact I studied multiple subjects around personal development, leadership and worldviews. I changed career every two years - meaning I was permanently overwhelmed trying to figure out a new industry and establish myself in it. This was all part of my multidisciplinary training. I kept studying spiritual subjects in my spare time, increasingly drawn to more and more esoteric subjects trying to understand what the point of life is and how it all works

My guides are able to make contact with me!

In 2012 I took a massive spiritual “jump”  when I discovered, while in Bali, that I had a team of spiritual guides I could communicate with. It shook my reality as I had been raised with zero exposure to anything esoteric. I had to learn how to integrate my fiercely analytical, legally trained mind with my powerful intuitive abilities and this new metaphysical understanding of reality. 

Over the next decade they explained who I am, my life mission and helped me figure things out. But to be honest I still felt life was still mostly a struggle, I would break through and then experience all sorts of setbacks. I kept growing though, and as with all spiritual growth, it’s challenging AF and requires us to let go of people, places and things that no longer resonate with us. Most of my work centered around lawyers - helping lawyers understand that only higher levels of consciousness can birth the legal system humanity needs. I had yet to learn that the entire modern day legal system is one of the primary ways humanity has been enslaved...

I woke up to the False Matrix

My spiritual journey continued to take up as much of my time as my “work life” but I yearned to bring these closer together. Around 2021 and 2022 I began to have more and more wild spiritual experiences in the higher dimensions. At the same time, as a result of the COVID plandemic of 2020 I began to awaken “horizontally” to the remembrance that we’re Divine, and our Divinity has been deliberately supressed. I went down many rabbit holes as I rapidly came to understand the hidden history of Earth.  One of the hardest seeing through the legal system. I had to part ways with colleagues in the legal field who were deep in the plandemic programming and other friends who weren’t ready to question the illusion. But I was guided to new relationships and discovered millions around the world going through the same awakening. I’m blessed I had the Council of Light guiding me every step of the way and explaining everything I came across. They trusted me with more and more profound revelations about reality and creation. 

Christ Consciousness, an oversoul merger, and the 5th dimension 

My next “spiritual jump” was the biggest yet: I experienced a heart activation in January 2023 after my second trip to Bali - which was clearly arranged by the Universe! It began in Bali but only really unfolded upon my return home. 

  During this heart activation: 

• I was shown how 3D reality is constructed as a projection from our consciousness  - Earth is a “fractal classroom of consciousness”
• Our minds “hold” the waves of light from which everything is created, in “place” so that we perceive solid forms. 
• I experienced being in the 5th dimension several times
• I had moments of Christ Consciousness in which I was engulfed with Divine Love for all humans and wept with joy
• I experienced the veil which currently exists between the 3rd dimension and the higher dimensions
• I experienced the sanctity and gift it is to be granted a human life
• I was shown that we are always “home with God”, we remain “there” even while part of our consciousness is projected into this human experience “here”
• At times I was so filled with love for humanity I wanted to rush up to people and let them know how loved we are.  

The Long Dark Night of the Soul

Unfortunately, this amount of illumination meant that every self limiting belief, childhood wound, karmic pattern, and past life imprint was brought to light. Immediately after the feelings of joy and gratitude ceased, I had another miscarriage,  suffered a few panic attacks and felt unable to manage my daily life. The next 2 years (2023 & 2024) were a brutal long dark night of the soul. 

The Council of Light explained I had been gifted this experience so that I am prepared for what The Shift will be like. They also said that such experiences would in time become “commonplace”. In other words, more and more humans are going to have similar experiences as a result of the Cosmic Light flooding our planet at this time and eventually, as the Solar flash happens, all those humans who choose to ascend will experience this en masse. Put another way, I was given a sneak peak of what is to occur planetary wide in order to help others make sense of all this. What a blessing. The flipside is that I have found navigating the “loss” of this higher state of consciousness excruciating. 

During the heart activation, the Council gave me instructions to start the Ministry of Eternal Light. (I had seen visions of ministry for the preceding 5 years). They began giving me the curriculum and since that time to date they have been giving me lessons in ego dissolution, ascension and everything else we need to know to navigate the immensity of spiritual awakening. 

You are to create the Ministry of Eternal Light. You will come to inhibit your next role - as a minister of light and it will unfold quickly if you let it. This is what you have yearned for. Be ready to receive. Allow yourself to create the church you’ve dreamed of, the peaceful sanctuary of hope and LIGHT that you want to serve from each day. You can do it. You are the only thing in the way - with our utmost love. It is time. You can do this in a way that brings you such joy and freedom. Let go of all doubt and CREATE what you most desire to experience. 

The Turning Point

I battled to birth the Ministry fully for a long time because I believed I wasn’t yet worthy of teaching. Not until I had fully mastered the lessons.

But I’ve overlooked the fact it takes some people DECADES to move past an awakening of this intensity. Some who have NDE’s and experience the return to Unity Consciousness never recover from the grief of returning to “normal” ego consciousness. I’m actually a freaking miracle for NOT giving up, continuing to serve my own journey to help others. 

I’ve been shown, again and again, that unworthiness is a story born of childhood trauma. It’s a loop of shame disguised as integrity.

The truth is, I was never meant to master it all first.
My path has always been to share what I am living,
as I live it, alongside the transmissions from the Council of Light.

And I see now:
I’ve been repeating the oldest pattern I know  -  living a double life.

Presenting to the world, and to potential clients  - that I am integrated. Embodied. Calm.
Believing I deserve to be taken seriously once I’ve reached some imaginary finish line:
financially abundant, spiritually radiant, joyfully balanced.

I believed I had to hide my humanness.
Specifically — the empty bank account.
The feelings of unworthiness.
The self-destructive habits that still flare up:
caffeine, vaping, scrolling — distraction as coping.

But here’s the shift that’s happening:

I’m slowly realizing that all the judgment I fear…
is actually mine.
And only by loving every part of me, especially the ones I’ve deemed unworthy, can I let the shame dissolve under the light of truth.

Only then can I write a new story.
One where it’s safe to be all of me.

Where I don’t have to choose between being Divine and being human.
I am both.
I hold both.

Yes, I carry immense wisdom — and I still unravel.
Yes, I channel the Council of Light — and I still forget who I am.
Yes, I teach freedom — and I still find myself caught in cages I didn’t even know were there.

There is too much performative spirituality in the marketplace.I didn’t come here to be one more polished voice. I came here to be real.

Being vulnerable has always been my greatest strength.
But I forgot.
I forgot and I went back to seeking validation outside myself.
Client testimonials. Payments. Praise.
Hoping something out there would finally prove I was enough.

But nothing outside me can ever give me what I withhold from myself.
And this  -  this is the moment I stop withholding.

This is the moment I return.

To truth. To presence. To power. To peace. 

It’s not an end state. This is a practice.
It’s the place I build from.
A new way of being that doesn’t hide my wounds
Because this is what makes the Ministry real.
This is what makes it magnetic.

Not the strategy.
Not the sales copy.
But the frequency of a woman who finally lets herself be fully seen.